Hmm!?!? I wonder if you can guess what this post is for??
I'll start...
A man takes his wife out for a Chinese meal. They sit at the table and after 5 or 10 minutes the waiter comes over to take their order. The woman says "I think we will have the Chicken Surprise tonight". "Very good" replies the waiter and he scoots off the kitchen. After 10 minutes of banging and clattering in the kitchen the waiter returns with large pot with a lid on and places it in the middle of the table.
The woman leans over and reaches for the lid of the pot, and just as she's about to lift it, it rises up and 2 little eyes flick from side to side, and then the lid drops shut. The woman turns to her husband as says "did you see that?" The man replies "no, see what?" And with that he too reaches over and just as he's about to lift the lid, the same thing happens again. the eyes flit from side to side, and then lid drops shut again.
The man says, "Hmm there's something not right about this", and he calls the waiter over.
The man says to the waiter, "there's something not right with our food.. every time we go to lift the lid 2 eyes appear. The waiter says, "well what did you order??" ..... "Chicken Surprise" says the man, "Ahhh me sorry says the waiting ............... me brought you Peking Duck"!!!!!
Monday 8 June 2009
Distractions
Well, first of all, Thanks for reading my first blog. I hope its the start of many, but as you will probably see from this one, I am easily distracted and may not get around to writing another for some considerable time.
Anyhow, Some time ago, a friend of mine told me that he was getting married, and very thoughtfully asked me to be his Best Man, with the words " ..but don't worry it wont be for a few years yet..". Great I thought, plenty of time write the most Witty, and heart wrenching speech of the year. Time to practice it and having it word perfect by the time I would have to stand up and deliver the most touching, and thought provoking words the half drunk folk will ever hear.
And what's wrong with that I hear you say... Well nothing, that is, until last week, when, and I'm sure he will correct me if I'm wrong, but "a change of mind" brought the happy day that little closer. Several years closer in fact, to just 5 weeks away. So now my little paws are tapping away on the keyboard trying to put a few words together in the hope that they may cause a few people's eyes to leak, and mouths to curl up at the edges, like a 5 day old sandwich left in the windowsill.
Now I have to admit, that I do actually enjoy writing stuff. I've started 4 novels, 2 movie scripts, a poem, a comedy drama, and factual article on some rather dull English legal issue. So correct me if I'm wrong but as you can see, I have absolutely no problem in sitting down and starting.... I just seem to an ending phobia. Incidentally, I wonder if there is such a phobia for the fear of endings???
So here I am, sitting down to write the most mesmerising, compelling and funny speech, and yet no speech is appearing. Instead I'm sitting here writing this and telling you all about it!! It appears that I have been side tracked, yet again....
Having realised that I didn't watch the Apprentice final last night, and finding it pretty quickly on the old bbc's new fangled video library cleverly disguised as the iPlayer, I've sat pondering whether or not I can sit and watch it in the knowledge of who won. So not only can I not complete a very important speech in one sitting , but now I'm even distracted writing this blog!!! Oh well... back to the speech!!
Anyhow, Some time ago, a friend of mine told me that he was getting married, and very thoughtfully asked me to be his Best Man, with the words " ..but don't worry it wont be for a few years yet..". Great I thought, plenty of time write the most Witty, and heart wrenching speech of the year. Time to practice it and having it word perfect by the time I would have to stand up and deliver the most touching, and thought provoking words the half drunk folk will ever hear.
And what's wrong with that I hear you say... Well nothing, that is, until last week, when, and I'm sure he will correct me if I'm wrong, but "a change of mind" brought the happy day that little closer. Several years closer in fact, to just 5 weeks away. So now my little paws are tapping away on the keyboard trying to put a few words together in the hope that they may cause a few people's eyes to leak, and mouths to curl up at the edges, like a 5 day old sandwich left in the windowsill.
Now I have to admit, that I do actually enjoy writing stuff. I've started 4 novels, 2 movie scripts, a poem, a comedy drama, and factual article on some rather dull English legal issue. So correct me if I'm wrong but as you can see, I have absolutely no problem in sitting down and starting.... I just seem to an ending phobia. Incidentally, I wonder if there is such a phobia for the fear of endings???
So here I am, sitting down to write the most mesmerising, compelling and funny speech, and yet no speech is appearing. Instead I'm sitting here writing this and telling you all about it!! It appears that I have been side tracked, yet again....
Having realised that I didn't watch the Apprentice final last night, and finding it pretty quickly on the old bbc's new fangled video library cleverly disguised as the iPlayer, I've sat pondering whether or not I can sit and watch it in the knowledge of who won. So not only can I not complete a very important speech in one sitting , but now I'm even distracted writing this blog!!! Oh well... back to the speech!!
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